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What’s your culture?
Growing up, I often felt envious of my friends who had parents or grandparents that weren’t from the United States. I was jealous of their culture, because I felt like I didn’t have one.
It wasn’t until I was an adult that I discovered what my culture is. I know that my ancestors came from Ireland, but beyond that, I had nothing. So I’ve decided that my culture is being southern. That’s right, I said southern, as in from the south-east United States. More specifically North-west Florida. I’ve lived here my entire life, and I’m very proud of my southern heritage.
A dear friend of mine once asked me what exactly that meant. I couldn’t come up with an answer besides being nice. Until I received the following message in an email. I hope you like it. I think it’s a perfect description of what it means to be southern.
Friends vs Southern Friends
FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Always bring the food. And lots of it.
FRIENDS: Will say “hello”.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss, sometimes more than one.
FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mom and Dad, and often.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Cry with you. And for you.
FRIENDS: Will eat at your dinner table and leave.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, and
just being together. Then do the dishes before leaving.
FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
And most of the time know you better than you do yourself.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that’s what the crowd is doing.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds’ back-ends that left
you. Then walk beside you in the front of the crowd.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, “I’m home!” If you are not
home they will wait.
FRIENDS: Are for a while.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Are for life. And then some.
I identified with so many (ok all) of the things written in that message, that I couldn’t help but laugh my head off. Yep, I’m definitely southern.
Today while driving to the gym, I remembered another part of my southern culture, and I’m afraid it’s a tradition that may die out. As I was driving, I passed a police car, with flashing lights, slowly driving in the opposite direction. Behind it was that tell-tale stretched out vehicle, that I knew carried someone’s eternally sleeping loved one. And I did what any good southerner would have done, I pulled my car to the side of the road, and waited for the processional to pass by. I was joined by many cars all along the road, showing their respect to this unknown person and those who were left behind to grieve.
It was a peaceful moment, until a lone vehicle passed us all by in the other lane. Part of me was angry. I wanted that person to stop and show respect for the loss these people were facing. It only took a moment of my day, and I know it meant something to the one’s left behind. (I’d once heard a person speak of how moving it was to see cars lined up, in respect, as a funeral processional went by.)
Later when I was telling David about it, he questioned why it was so important. And I was appalled to learn that he too would have just driven by. At first, I couldn’t think of any better reason than to show respect not only to the deceased, but also to the family. But then it hit me, why it really is important. It shows that we are not concerned only with our own lives. I believe that society as a whole is so wrapped up in our own problems and worries, that we don’t take the time to consider what someone else is going through. It only took 10-15 seconds out of my day, but I believe these little can add up to a better life.
Today as I waited beside the road, I took a moment to say a prayer for the family that must be mourning this loss, and I also thanked God for all the blessings in my life, including a healthy family. I know this hasn’t really been about food, but I think this is a good tradition, and I hope that this blog will prolong it’s life just a little longer.
Posted by admin on March 13th, 2008 under Life with BethOne Response to “What’s your culture?”
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March 18th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
I believe I must be Southern too.
I always stop. I feel it’s very important.
When my husband’s grandmother died recently, my children were amazed a how the police rode with us to the cemetery and how people stopped to show respect. Most did not know Grandma personally but it didn’t matter…It’s just the right thing to do.